Despite abandoning the presidency to a more able man, I still retain some influence and have been requested to carry on my quarterly reviews. So here goes...

5 matches into the regular season and we have just the 2 teams unbeaten and only 1 team still searching for their first win. The biggest shocks have come in the number of top players who have had their butt's kicked by 'so-called' lesser players (yes, Mark Barnes, we'll come to you shortly.)

Championship A:

Pinoy Mafia have assembled a crack squad of sure shooters (all from the Philippines...Hello, Seh Chul) and look set to be this year's dark horses as they lead the Dark Horses who were dark horses last year but now everyone knows about them so they're surely not dark horses anymore but they are still called Dark Horses. I hope you can follow the logic of that preposterous sentence? Boomtown Rats and Wonky Dics (yes, that's what everyone thinks of them as anyway) have been inconsistent and Strokers have been bemoaning their lack of available 1900 players. King Pub The King (dreadful name! not least because there are more than one of them and they seem to have at least one queen - they do play above a transgender bar after all) look dangerous and have only played matches against the top 4 so far. Shenanigans are determined to be relegated this season!

Championship B:

Scrooge Pub Marvelous (another dreadful name - it's not 1950s England here) lead the way although suffered a surprise defeat last time out to the combative JJ's. It leaves Sin Bin Bombadeers - they still can't spell - as the only unbeaten side in the division although they have had a bye.King Pub Seoul and the Pain look like they are trying to embark on a truly average season. Misfits have finally found their level, even if their table remains decidedly un-level. Super Power have been hot and cold and Kozels (the league might want to check on sponsorship rules) seem to be content with propping up the rest.

Championship C:

Phillie's Frigates lead the way - that just sounds wrong, doesn't it? - Phillie's have never won anything before!!! Anyway, they have a slight...wait a minute, they lead by 12 points - what is going on in this division? Anyway, they are leading from Black Hole (again, surely a mistake?). The two tradition powers of the lower echelons, Scandal and Sweet Life, are struggling in mid-table - although both have had a bye. Shih Tsu have become this year's Zzyzzxxxzxzx and are making it difficult for me to spell their name. Pheasants are living up to the Phillie's traditions. Ballisticks have a new team and a worse spelling and Blame the Cue have the most appropriate name and are yet to win a match.

Special Games:

This is the year of the underdog - 1900 players beware! In the first week (I didn't think this would be beaten), Wonjun Kim stunned Seh Chul Park in the very first match of the season. It would take a special player to deny Wonjun the goliath trophy, step forward Mark Barnes...sorry, step forward John Redmond. Coming into the match he was rated at 1390. He took down a player who finished in last year's top 10. A gap of almost 500 points. It would have been over 500 had Mark not lost his first round to Brendan. Kathy Koh looks destined to take out the female goliath award as she stunned Kelly (the only Wonky Dic without a Wonky Dic) with a brilliant black.

Good luck to all with the next 5 matches.